My Greatest Fear

I am terrified of loosing people I love. Swirling thoughts of pain and images of loss are constantly moving in the back of my head. While I do well during the day to push those thoughts back and live in the moment, at night they can be unstoppable. I lay awake trying to convince myself that many of these fears are unreasonable and unlikely to come to fruition. I tell myself I should trust God to take care of the ones that I love. However, I trust more that He will be with me through whatever misfortune occurs, than I trust that he will prevent misfortune from happening. Therefore, I try to reassure myself that I could have a good life and love God whatever happened, and that He is all I will ever need. While this thought is logical and registers in my brain, my heart and emotions are not convinced.